Getting excited about being disappointed / by Aaron Bouchard

Every day on the bus to middle school, I sat with or near Eric. He was the 11 year old equivalent of a drinking buddy in that you never saw each other outside of the bar, or this case the bus. Eric would always tell me about how Goldeneye was coming out for the PC in the near future and how Monty Python, who Eric was under the assumption was a living and breathing human being, was making a new movie. Unfortunately, I grew up stupid, so I would always take Eric at his word and would go on a town-wide goose-hunt for Goldeneye to upload on the family PC or ask the confused video store clerks about when Mr. Python’s new movie is coming out. I would bring up the fact that against all greater knowledge PC Goldeneye and Monty Python’s coming-out-of-retirement feature did not exist, Eric would just shrug. He either realized that his bluff had been called or he lied so much, he could barely remember one from the next. Once we entered high school, it is a safe bet that Eric got consumed by the public education system. Chances are, Eric is running a Fortune 500 company down in Alabama, eating steak every morning and drinking a bottle of fine Cognac every night.

It is a weird sort of disappointment when you are given misinformation like that. You are not angry or disappointed, just perplexed, possibly holding out hope that it is real. Usually it is hard to get angry and disappointed about something that is your own fault because you continue to listen to them. Every year publications come out with the list of what films they are looking forward to each year. I understand it is a perfectly innocent space waster, but rarely does anything show up in these list that are not already common knowledge to what is coming soon. It seems to add more clout to films who’s budgets could sustain a third world country for the next eight years. Before these films come out, we are talking about them. When the first picture appears online, we dissect it. A month before the film is released, it is inescapable; ads on tv, sides of buildings and bus stops, that weird thing where where a series of 8×11 are all plastered to the side of bodegas and stay there for a year before they are plastered over by the next big thing. Knowing that we will be flanked from all sides by these films is sort of exhausting feeling.To know that publications are announcing these films in a one to ten list like the second coming is disappointing, almost like saying “Guess what you are going to have to deal with the entire month of April?!”

These same publications will also turn around at the end of the year and complain that the same films that the put on a pedestal did not live up to the hype, the same hype they helped perpetuate a year before the film even screened. It is not a publications’ place to find only the most obscure of the obscure and trumpet their existence, but some of these films would benefit from having someone take notice of them. Marvel has another five film coming out in the next 2 years? Since The Avengers made enough money to get buy the moon, why is anyone surprise or excited? Do they really need any advertising outside of product placement? Mercedes will give the producers any amount of money just so long as Iron Man looks at the 2014 CLA and says “I am going to sit in this, save the world, and get laid!” followed by shoving his face with low-fat Yoplait while breaking the forth wall with his eyes unblinking and smiling. I bet the movie will be great!